Virginity, polyamory, being ace, and sprinkles on top.
posted Apr.09.12 at 02:01 am
I'd meant to make a nice long blog post to go with last night's update, but instead I passed out in my dinner at 9:30 pm and spent the rest of my evening sleepily catching up on SMBC Theater sketches (fair warning, you might not get anything done if you click that link).

I wanted to clear a up a few things, since there were some confused tweets and e-mails sent to me last week.

Frankly, I was prepared to spend all day today battling a horde of naysayers and haters, but after reading through the comments section, I have to say I'm impressed! There were still a few who don't quite get it, but overall the responses have been very thoughtful and open-minded.

So before I start rattling off labels, I'd like to thank you guys for conducting such civil conversations. Y'all make me proud to have a comments section that doesn't need to be taken down every week. ;)

Now, then: labels.

I'm bringing up this topic because it most likely won't be brought up in the comic. Jamie hates labels, Erin would rather pretend labels don't even exist, and let's face it, Hazel wouldn't know what the fuck a label was if it wasn't "gay" or "straight."

Jamie's a virgin.

So, first things first, Jamie still considers herself a virgin. This is not to discount lesbian sex (which she's had twice); it's simply to say that everyone's definition of what sex and virginity are will vary from person to person. (Try reading Hanne Blank's Virgin: The Untouched History; it'll frustrate you to bits if you're looking for a black-and-white definition!)

To say the least, there are A TON of fun things that a man and a woman (or a man & a man, a woman & a woman, etc.) can do that are NOT penetrative. As someone who lost her own "virginity" late in life, let me assure you that if you get creative, you can have a VERY enjoyable sex life without ending every night with intercourse.

Jamie and Erin are not lesbians.

I'd hoped these two strips would get the point across, but the fact of the matter is: Jamie misses gettin' it on with boys. We don't know exactly what it is about boys that she likes - and perhaps she'll keep the details to herself - but it's official, the girl wants her some dick. While she loves boobs (and most importantly, she loves Erin), she's just not a big fan of ladies' pink bits below-the-waist.

Erin, on the other hand, is completely asexual.

To get the final point across, neither Jamie nor Erin has ever identified as lesbian (though they do make my lesbian-loving heart go "AAAWWWW"). If you had to give Jamie a label, I suppose it'd be "bi-romantic heterosexual virgin." And Erin, perhaps, would be "romantic asexual." You can certainly be asexual and still feel love for another person. Look it up. :)

Lesbians of the world, please rest assured that Thea, Mimi, and Angel are all tried-and-true lesbos. Not to give you spoilers, but I don't see any of them running off for some man-meat anytime soon.

That's what we call "polyamory."

Last but hardly least, I'm surprised and relieved that I don't have to wield my "yes, poly relationships can work" sword in the comments section. I realize to most people it's a foreign concept, and to many it's an ideal that will ultimately fail, but from personal experience, I can tell you that it works for a lot of people (and it probably does for many married couples you know, albeit secretly). Let's see how it goes for these two before we make judgment calls, yeah?

PS. Did you know that asexual people often refer to themselves as being "ace?" I think that's kinda snazzy. :)
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