Sex as a Pastime
Posted December 17, 2015 at 10:00 pm

I guess I'm not omitting ALL of the fourth-wall-breaking strips after all, just the annoying ones. I liked this one. A lot.

I've said in the past that Jamie is my sexual spirit animal, and as much as I use that statement to explain my sexual orientation, this strip was written as a way of justifying my LACK of sexuality as well.

When I was in college, while all my friends were trying out a buffet of birth control methods and teasing at how many actual minutes (or hours-- HOURS) they would be engaged in sexual intercourse, I was carefully skirting anything that could possibly get me pregnant. Or rather, I was carefully picking partners who wouldn't force me to do anything I didn't want to do. 

According to Hanne Blank's research, there's no set definition for "virginity." But if you consider virginity to be "not having intercourse with someone of the opposite sex," I had a plateful of virginity that I feasted on well into my early twenties, while maintaining a half dozen relationships and relatively frequent one-night hookups. I was terrified of pregnancy, perhaps in part because I wasn't sure how I felt about abortion (you can be pro-choice while not being certain which path you would choose for yourself), so I drew the line at anything that could possibly leave me in that state.

But in all honesty, I wasn't even sure how I felt about sex. The idea of someone putting their fleshy wing-wang in your tiny hoo-hah was something I could have never organically come up with on my own. The concept seemed made-up and even flawed. Had I been the last female on earth, the last man on earth would have had to have a natural urge to bone me, because in my mind, intercrourse as a means of reproduction was about as sensible as the answer to "how many surrealist painters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?" ("The fish.")

Somehow I managed to date and hook up with about the same amount of people Veronica did without ever being pressured, persuaded, or shamed into having intercourse.

In short, there are two things I can say about my early sexuality: I never dated an asshole, and there a lot of other body parts you can use to get yourself or another person off. A LOT.

I miss blathering on here. I'll try to do it more often. :)

Here's the old strip, in which I misspelled "pastimes!" 


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